"Meat"
I'm sweating pork chops under a parasol on a wide avenue in the city of Bs As. A haze has fallen that spells carne heart attack for young boys waiting on Yoga (Shoga in Argentinian) classes and employment. Considered being a waiter yesterday just to get into some kind of working routine. Still living at the hostel and there appears to be lots of teaching work to be had, I just have to get off of my arse and find those schools and get those curriculums printed off. It doesn't help that I lost the most recent copy and have had to rework the current edition on spanish computers that make it difficult to find templates...
I stumble raucously down the street hand in hand with the lovely Cachorra witnessing police molestation of innocent petrified looking youths on drug store corners and crying babes begging for change. I got out of the organized mania of Buenos Aires for a few days and contracted a social conscience in La Plata, visiting poor neighbourhoods and witnessing police intimidation. But the friends of Franco's I met there were fantastic people and welcomed me to Argentina with open arms, how sweet!
This country rocks like Keith Richards supercharged on wine and valium. I love it!
domingo, 18 de marzo de 2007
viernes, 9 de marzo de 2007
Buenos Aires
This place is HUGE!
I'd never imagined how big this place was and how full of beautiful people it is, and not just beautiful but classy looking people - unlike the slutty shop dressing of the Ticas (no offence, just an observation). It really is a small taste of European life here in Latin America, even the Spanish accent has been further europeanised to sound more Italian than Spanish at times and yes, safe to say I'm having trouble being understood by most everyone I talk to...
The taxi ride last night was a hilarious turn of events with the taxista being a racist Uruguayan who hates Argentina, Buenos Aires and all Argentinians. Errr.. A lovely welcome indeed and more news of high crime, social problems and car accidents galore.. Somebody sort this continent out!
Anyway I spent the night passing in and out of consciousness due to the return of 3 French party-goers in my hostel room. I'm investigating apartments but the one I'm looking at in San Telmo doesn't have a room available for at least another week.
Good news is I already have some contact details for some schools, one being the British language and cultural centre - sounds right down my alley! - the others are universities and private language schools so I'll have to print off some CVs to drop around over the weekend and into next week.
Off for my late night dinner now, something I'll have to get used to!
Ciao bellas!
"I've never know a Waleman"
I'd never imagined how big this place was and how full of beautiful people it is, and not just beautiful but classy looking people - unlike the slutty shop dressing of the Ticas (no offence, just an observation). It really is a small taste of European life here in Latin America, even the Spanish accent has been further europeanised to sound more Italian than Spanish at times and yes, safe to say I'm having trouble being understood by most everyone I talk to...
The taxi ride last night was a hilarious turn of events with the taxista being a racist Uruguayan who hates Argentina, Buenos Aires and all Argentinians. Errr.. A lovely welcome indeed and more news of high crime, social problems and car accidents galore.. Somebody sort this continent out!
Anyway I spent the night passing in and out of consciousness due to the return of 3 French party-goers in my hostel room. I'm investigating apartments but the one I'm looking at in San Telmo doesn't have a room available for at least another week.
Good news is I already have some contact details for some schools, one being the British language and cultural centre - sounds right down my alley! - the others are universities and private language schools so I'll have to print off some CVs to drop around over the weekend and into next week.
Off for my late night dinner now, something I'll have to get used to!
Ciao bellas!
"I've never know a Waleman"
miércoles, 7 de marzo de 2007
Born Yogi
"Estile the cuapo to the atras!"
Yoga is cool, I'm naturally flexible and the teacher, Jimmy, says I'm a born yogi and I should do yoga all my life.. Ummmm.... Well I enjoyed it and it's great meditation so'll be looking for a studio down in Buenos Aires or wherever I end up in Argentina.
Just another reason why I'm sad to be leaving San Jose, dirty city of crime and reggaeton fame. It seems like only in these last two months have I ventured away from the DVD screen and into the sunlight of friendship with the many friendly folk of the instituto britanico and the centro cultural amongst others. Shame I didn't get out more before or I may have found myself sticking around longer and enjoying the proximity of some of the world's most beautiful beaches.. Ahh well, que sera sera..... "O O O, O O shikuru..."
I managed to sell almost all of my stuff and I'll be feeling vulnerable when travelling through numerous airports with a few thousand dollars in my pockets :-P ahh well, like Telamonian Aias I will stride tall and proud to dissuade potential pickpockets.
Speaking of which I've become almost totally body obsessive what with the gym and yoga, I've decided that I am a lump of clay potential and that I will demand my body serves me rather than vice versa. I guess I'm just tired of never having had a good, strong body and now that I have so much free time there really is no excuse for not taking more care of myself - note drinking and smoking probably not included yet!
Well, here's hoping that Argentina will prove as enjoyable as San Jo has ended up! I'm full of vigour and confidence so a little open mindedness and some rapidly improving spanish should stand me in good stead.
Hasta Argentina!
"Nothing endures but change."
Yoga is cool, I'm naturally flexible and the teacher, Jimmy, says I'm a born yogi and I should do yoga all my life.. Ummmm.... Well I enjoyed it and it's great meditation so'll be looking for a studio down in Buenos Aires or wherever I end up in Argentina.
Just another reason why I'm sad to be leaving San Jose, dirty city of crime and reggaeton fame. It seems like only in these last two months have I ventured away from the DVD screen and into the sunlight of friendship with the many friendly folk of the instituto britanico and the centro cultural amongst others. Shame I didn't get out more before or I may have found myself sticking around longer and enjoying the proximity of some of the world's most beautiful beaches.. Ahh well, que sera sera..... "O O O, O O shikuru..."
I managed to sell almost all of my stuff and I'll be feeling vulnerable when travelling through numerous airports with a few thousand dollars in my pockets :-P ahh well, like Telamonian Aias I will stride tall and proud to dissuade potential pickpockets.
Speaking of which I've become almost totally body obsessive what with the gym and yoga, I've decided that I am a lump of clay potential and that I will demand my body serves me rather than vice versa. I guess I'm just tired of never having had a good, strong body and now that I have so much free time there really is no excuse for not taking more care of myself - note drinking and smoking probably not included yet!
Well, here's hoping that Argentina will prove as enjoyable as San Jo has ended up! I'm full of vigour and confidence so a little open mindedness and some rapidly improving spanish should stand me in good stead.
Hasta Argentina!
"Nothing endures but change."
miércoles, 28 de febrero de 2007
Another fine mess you've gotten me into!
Damn, how does a quiet night with a couple of drinks and some food turn into a nightmare descent into darkness followed by a rise to glory!
I was intending to finally hang out with Carlos after class on tuesday, my last class finished and Roberto and I were drinking in Sand making the most of the cheap prices. After four or five and no news from Carlos we chowed down at the mall and tried to connect once more. He replied but was already home warming his tootsies in front of a fire with a cup of F-ing cocoa and was therefore a big going out disappointment!
Whatever, Roberto and I decided to get hammered and find some adventure and traipsed around a few bars and street drinking parties looking for diversion and people to hang out with. AS the evening dragged on a lightbulb switched on over Rob's head.
"Why don't we buy a bottle of rum and go drink with my alcoholic dad?"
A new mission was underway and so we dropped our unwilling charges and raced to the AM PM in time to buy the bottle and some muffins and chase down the last bus up to Guadalupe. We played some pool at his local cantina and shared cigarettes with chortling, toothless bums, chatted up the 4 foot 8 barmaid Marina and left in high spirits to wake up his Pa.
Arriving at Rob's house we opted for a few joints out the back to prepare ourselves for the high energy drinking session that was about to ensue. We rolled out by the wall and enjoyed the views out across the city towards the volcano Irazu in the distance. Whilst smoking down to the end of the first joint I swung my hand out to the left and accidentally dropped the still smoking butt into the neighbour's back garden... down a 20 foot sheer wall... Roberto eventually laughed it off but he was pretty concerned for a while that his neighbours would bring it back round the next day and embarass him in front of his family. To chill things out he passed me the second joint to smoke and would you believe it, I accidentally tossed that WHOLE UNBAPTISED joint down after the first one.
It only took a minute to soak in but when he recovered his senses Roberto was furious and I was distraught. I've never done anything quite as ridiculous as that in my life and now I'd just done it twice! Awful. Rob was cursing and trying not to scream and shout under his breath, saying how I'd be going to the worst section of hell where I would drop precious things down steep cliffs for eternity!
He was really mad and we were starting to feel some bad karma building when he mentioned that he had a climbing harness in his room. A desperate plan was hatched and Roberto left me to ponder my descent of 20ft in pursuit of the runaway doobies. When he returned I was totally psyched about what was ahead and eagerly strapped on the ropes before testing the weight and support by free hanging.
We moved over to the wall, me with a cycle helmet and wearing only socks, trousers and a wife beater, and I climbed carefully over to begin the climb down. It was easy enough making it down to the ground although it burned my sides slightly but once I was down there I was mobbed by the friendliest guard dogs ever, licking and sniffing like maniacs. Poor fellas probably didn't get much attention, least of all from visitors coming down from the skies in their normally quiet Orange grove.
Trying to avoid the dogs and to avoid stepping on too many oranges I found the butt and the fresh joint after about half an hour of scrambling and scraping and pocketed the evidence with a boyish grin. Then came the tricky part. How to escape from my blatant trespass without shattering the calm of the night and bringing disgruntled, scared, gun wielding Ticos running to engage me in a lethal defence of their property!
We tried scaling the vertical face but had less than no luck with that attempt, getting only a few hand scars in the process. On the right was a low standing shed with some beams underneath and so we replaced the rope more to the right hand side and attempted my climb again. This time I was glad of those sessions in the gym trying to lift and haul my body weight around. TOby would have been proud of my scaling of the shed and Roberto was a veritable Hercules at the top heaving my body weight onto the ledge and up over the wall to safety!
Safe to say that was the happiest most exhilirating joint I'd smoked in a long time and we vowed to pass down this hilarious incident to all future generations we could! Viva San Jo!
"What you risk reveals what you value. "
I was intending to finally hang out with Carlos after class on tuesday, my last class finished and Roberto and I were drinking in Sand making the most of the cheap prices. After four or five and no news from Carlos we chowed down at the mall and tried to connect once more. He replied but was already home warming his tootsies in front of a fire with a cup of F-ing cocoa and was therefore a big going out disappointment!
Whatever, Roberto and I decided to get hammered and find some adventure and traipsed around a few bars and street drinking parties looking for diversion and people to hang out with. AS the evening dragged on a lightbulb switched on over Rob's head.
"Why don't we buy a bottle of rum and go drink with my alcoholic dad?"
A new mission was underway and so we dropped our unwilling charges and raced to the AM PM in time to buy the bottle and some muffins and chase down the last bus up to Guadalupe. We played some pool at his local cantina and shared cigarettes with chortling, toothless bums, chatted up the 4 foot 8 barmaid Marina and left in high spirits to wake up his Pa.
Arriving at Rob's house we opted for a few joints out the back to prepare ourselves for the high energy drinking session that was about to ensue. We rolled out by the wall and enjoyed the views out across the city towards the volcano Irazu in the distance. Whilst smoking down to the end of the first joint I swung my hand out to the left and accidentally dropped the still smoking butt into the neighbour's back garden... down a 20 foot sheer wall... Roberto eventually laughed it off but he was pretty concerned for a while that his neighbours would bring it back round the next day and embarass him in front of his family. To chill things out he passed me the second joint to smoke and would you believe it, I accidentally tossed that WHOLE UNBAPTISED joint down after the first one.
It only took a minute to soak in but when he recovered his senses Roberto was furious and I was distraught. I've never done anything quite as ridiculous as that in my life and now I'd just done it twice! Awful. Rob was cursing and trying not to scream and shout under his breath, saying how I'd be going to the worst section of hell where I would drop precious things down steep cliffs for eternity!
He was really mad and we were starting to feel some bad karma building when he mentioned that he had a climbing harness in his room. A desperate plan was hatched and Roberto left me to ponder my descent of 20ft in pursuit of the runaway doobies. When he returned I was totally psyched about what was ahead and eagerly strapped on the ropes before testing the weight and support by free hanging.
We moved over to the wall, me with a cycle helmet and wearing only socks, trousers and a wife beater, and I climbed carefully over to begin the climb down. It was easy enough making it down to the ground although it burned my sides slightly but once I was down there I was mobbed by the friendliest guard dogs ever, licking and sniffing like maniacs. Poor fellas probably didn't get much attention, least of all from visitors coming down from the skies in their normally quiet Orange grove.
Trying to avoid the dogs and to avoid stepping on too many oranges I found the butt and the fresh joint after about half an hour of scrambling and scraping and pocketed the evidence with a boyish grin. Then came the tricky part. How to escape from my blatant trespass without shattering the calm of the night and bringing disgruntled, scared, gun wielding Ticos running to engage me in a lethal defence of their property!
We tried scaling the vertical face but had less than no luck with that attempt, getting only a few hand scars in the process. On the right was a low standing shed with some beams underneath and so we replaced the rope more to the right hand side and attempted my climb again. This time I was glad of those sessions in the gym trying to lift and haul my body weight around. TOby would have been proud of my scaling of the shed and Roberto was a veritable Hercules at the top heaving my body weight onto the ledge and up over the wall to safety!
Safe to say that was the happiest most exhilirating joint I'd smoked in a long time and we vowed to pass down this hilarious incident to all future generations we could! Viva San Jo!
"What you risk reveals what you value. "
martes, 20 de febrero de 2007
Killing time my darling
The date is set and the escape from San Jo draws near. The city of innumerable muggings and robberies, of drunken depravity and so much pura vida (read walking too slowly and driving like you've been recently released from a mental asylum) it hurts my poor little soul.
So long to Poker tuesdays and pool thursdays, to winning and losing at the Radisson, to almost dying everytime I attempt to cross the road in my normal gung ho fashion and to the ladies with their ridiculously slutty dress sense... I salute you madames of madness.
All in all Costa Rica hasn't been bad to me. I will however be runnign far far away from San Jo as soon as my contract is up, probably to the coast once more to surf and sunbathe and sleep off the joy excess of teaching.
I want to take a monkey with me to Buenos Aires and have it do my board work for me!
Mmmmmm, real meat and proper football! I can't wait!
"Do you want superman to fly around the world and turn back time?"
So long to Poker tuesdays and pool thursdays, to winning and losing at the Radisson, to almost dying everytime I attempt to cross the road in my normal gung ho fashion and to the ladies with their ridiculously slutty dress sense... I salute you madames of madness.
All in all Costa Rica hasn't been bad to me. I will however be runnign far far away from San Jo as soon as my contract is up, probably to the coast once more to surf and sunbathe and sleep off the joy excess of teaching.
I want to take a monkey with me to Buenos Aires and have it do my board work for me!
Mmmmmm, real meat and proper football! I can't wait!
"Do you want superman to fly around the world and turn back time?"
miércoles, 14 de febrero de 2007
Estudiantes chistosas
1 - "Who put on your make-up, Your dog?"
2 - "I once killed a dog with my bicycle and a rolled up newspaper."
what am I teaching them?
Today I did a huge lesson on repeated speech and it was soooo cute to see their little faces all screwed up in painful learning agony! Normally I'm so laissez faire but this one showed them the real mental sacrifices they'll have to offer up to the ESL Gods to gain any decent level of English!
"Cruel to be kind, in the right measure."
2 - "I once killed a dog with my bicycle and a rolled up newspaper."
what am I teaching them?
Today I did a huge lesson on repeated speech and it was soooo cute to see their little faces all screwed up in painful learning agony! Normally I'm so laissez faire but this one showed them the real mental sacrifices they'll have to offer up to the ESL Gods to gain any decent level of English!
"Cruel to be kind, in the right measure."
Beer bar blitz
In true British style I blitzkrieged the bars last weekend, harassing the locals, jibing the bartenders, being loud, drunk and ever so much jolly fun! Ooh-rah!
My manic beer chasing began on friday night as Roberto, Kevin, Eli, Asi and I knocked back a hasty few whilst dancing with old ladies in Virus before Rob and I caned it down to Rafas to dance with fire and shoot the shit with some kids in the calle.
After my class on saturday morning I ran some errands, rented Factotum and Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, "Everyone here is heavily armed and drunk.. It's like Gone with the Wind on mescalin!", played a rough and tumble game of football, that almost saw Tom start a fight with one of the fatty pie eating Ticos, went home to shower and change and then proceeded to wander around the post office building downtown looking for the elusive Embajada! That cantina was full of slobbering whiteys and empty beer bottles and I remember having a great time arguing the toss between Cricket and Rugby as the greatest sport in the world.
Anyways, we drank and shouted and wrestled our way through many beers and various shots until we ended up on the main avenue drinking in a mariachi bar where I confused the security guard by asking him about the availability of soft drugs in the area. Unperturbed by his nervous disposition I continued shooting the shit with him before I got bored and wandered home.
Sunday was quiet. I watched those movies, ate some popocorn for breakfast (damn my inadequate shopping habits!) and did some marking before topping off a great hangover by watching the hilarious Borat in the evening. I never knew movies could be so senselessly racist and yet so funny!
Scooba Mopping Robot
Monday saw a return to drinking form at El Cuartel with Kevin, Randall and Alex. We spoke to lots of girls, danced with some more, drank a moderate 4 or 5 beers, Kevin almost got into a fight, some guy and his sister talked my ear off about Monty Python and Snatch - normally I wouldn't mind chortling heartily over British comedy quotes in the midst of crowded, sweaty bars but the guy's favourtite quote was:
"If you hold back anything, I'll kill ya. If you bend the truth or I think your bending the truth, I'll kill ya. If you forget anything I'll kill ya. In fact, you're gonna have to work very hard to stay alive, Nick. Now do you understand everything I've said? Because if you don't, I'll kill ya. "
The night rolled on and eventually I tired of the mainly Germanic meat market and stumbled off to my bed but on the way I was shocked to see a half-naked man jogging down the road towards my house with his equally naked woman friend and a 2 foot machete in hand, scraping it against the railings on his way to God only knows.
I tailed him for a while but when I eventually passed and he started to follow me it was luckily only a short sprint to my front door and the sanctuary of my room.
"If the milk turns out to be sour, I ain't the kinda pussy to drink it."
My manic beer chasing began on friday night as Roberto, Kevin, Eli, Asi and I knocked back a hasty few whilst dancing with old ladies in Virus before Rob and I caned it down to Rafas to dance with fire and shoot the shit with some kids in the calle.
After my class on saturday morning I ran some errands, rented Factotum and Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, "Everyone here is heavily armed and drunk.. It's like Gone with the Wind on mescalin!", played a rough and tumble game of football, that almost saw Tom start a fight with one of the fatty pie eating Ticos, went home to shower and change and then proceeded to wander around the post office building downtown looking for the elusive Embajada! That cantina was full of slobbering whiteys and empty beer bottles and I remember having a great time arguing the toss between Cricket and Rugby as the greatest sport in the world.
Anyways, we drank and shouted and wrestled our way through many beers and various shots until we ended up on the main avenue drinking in a mariachi bar where I confused the security guard by asking him about the availability of soft drugs in the area. Unperturbed by his nervous disposition I continued shooting the shit with him before I got bored and wandered home.
Sunday was quiet. I watched those movies, ate some popocorn for breakfast (damn my inadequate shopping habits!) and did some marking before topping off a great hangover by watching the hilarious Borat in the evening. I never knew movies could be so senselessly racist and yet so funny!
Scooba Mopping Robot
Monday saw a return to drinking form at El Cuartel with Kevin, Randall and Alex. We spoke to lots of girls, danced with some more, drank a moderate 4 or 5 beers, Kevin almost got into a fight, some guy and his sister talked my ear off about Monty Python and Snatch - normally I wouldn't mind chortling heartily over British comedy quotes in the midst of crowded, sweaty bars but the guy's favourtite quote was:
"If you hold back anything, I'll kill ya. If you bend the truth or I think your bending the truth, I'll kill ya. If you forget anything I'll kill ya. In fact, you're gonna have to work very hard to stay alive, Nick. Now do you understand everything I've said? Because if you don't, I'll kill ya. "
The night rolled on and eventually I tired of the mainly Germanic meat market and stumbled off to my bed but on the way I was shocked to see a half-naked man jogging down the road towards my house with his equally naked woman friend and a 2 foot machete in hand, scraping it against the railings on his way to God only knows.
I tailed him for a while but when I eventually passed and he started to follow me it was luckily only a short sprint to my front door and the sanctuary of my room.
"If the milk turns out to be sour, I ain't the kinda pussy to drink it."
miércoles, 7 de febrero de 2007
Violence is endemic
Hmmm, today the vocabulary that my students asked for was - Tazer, rape, ransom, talk-time and poverty. Are Costa Ricans conditioned to violence in their society?
Last night I broke even at poker but with some good chances to win a few big hands. Darn it.
"Eccentricity is not, as dull people would have us believe, a form of madness. It is often a kind of innocent pride, and the man of genius and the aristocrat are frequently regarded as eccentrics because genius and aristocrat are entirely unafraid of and uninfluenced by the opinions and vagaries of the crowd."
Last night I broke even at poker but with some good chances to win a few big hands. Darn it.
"Eccentricity is not, as dull people would have us believe, a form of madness. It is often a kind of innocent pride, and the man of genius and the aristocrat are frequently regarded as eccentrics because genius and aristocrat are entirely unafraid of and uninfluenced by the opinions and vagaries of the crowd."
domingo, 4 de febrero de 2007
Bang bang you're dead...
Yesterday I scored 12 goals in Futbol 5. Wow! Although it didn't really matter because we were only playing with 9 people so it wasn't a proper game as usual. Drat.
Afterwards Toby, Tom and I ate dinner and went around some of the bars in San Pedro, meeting some Ticos (no Ticas) and drinking till late in Sand and Virus.
I reached home safely enough and slept a good 6 hours before having to get up to play paintball on the morrow when Kevin Wong came a knocking. We ate toast and I beat him at chess before Toby and Robbie meandered over and I said a curt farewell to Tobias, oops, and the other three of us went with some folks to play paintball in Escazu.
A great game all in all. Randall's girlfriend Alex actually owns a paintball field in Germany and so was a crack shot at times and very sneaky, utilising many flanking manoeuvers! Kevin Randall and I had a ten pace duel as well which was lame because we all missed, Kevin even having the cheek tohide behind a barricade!
Great japes all round this weekend!
Afterwards Toby, Tom and I ate dinner and went around some of the bars in San Pedro, meeting some Ticos (no Ticas) and drinking till late in Sand and Virus.
I reached home safely enough and slept a good 6 hours before having to get up to play paintball on the morrow when Kevin Wong came a knocking. We ate toast and I beat him at chess before Toby and Robbie meandered over and I said a curt farewell to Tobias, oops, and the other three of us went with some folks to play paintball in Escazu.
A great game all in all. Randall's girlfriend Alex actually owns a paintball field in Germany and so was a crack shot at times and very sneaky, utilising many flanking manoeuvers! Kevin Randall and I had a ten pace duel as well which was lame because we all missed, Kevin even having the cheek tohide behind a barricade!
Great japes all round this weekend!
Funny weekends follow flat weeks
The crazy lady I mentioned briefly at the end of my previous blog was in fact Maria Gabriella or Gaby for short. A Tica who approached me in the mall and demanded to be my girlfriend. Intrigued, and having nothing else to do after watching the overrated but well shot Babel, Robbie and I accompanied her to El Pueblo and later to a Karaoke bar where she proceeded to regale us with tales of times when she had almost been killed by men she described as literally being daemons who would vomit whenever she discussed her religion (can you guess it?).
Although she was speaking fantastic English I couldn't help but interject with some subtle quips that luckily only Robbie caught. Anyway, she was a very direct person and demanded I be her boyfriend. I kissed her briefly in the taxi on the way home, sitting in the back, but it was quite possibly the worst kiss I've ever experienced! I wont ruin your happy lives with the gruesome details but safe to say it was awful for someone who must have had her share of experience of life and love... Horrific. That was one taxi ride that couldn't end soon enough...
I saw her again on friday and tried to let her down as gently as possibly but she wasn't taking it and gradually lowered her expectations down from boyfriend status to just friends with rights but even this i refused. I don't feel like being a toyboy right now for some Christian mentalist.
"To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead."
Although she was speaking fantastic English I couldn't help but interject with some subtle quips that luckily only Robbie caught. Anyway, she was a very direct person and demanded I be her boyfriend. I kissed her briefly in the taxi on the way home, sitting in the back, but it was quite possibly the worst kiss I've ever experienced! I wont ruin your happy lives with the gruesome details but safe to say it was awful for someone who must have had her share of experience of life and love... Horrific. That was one taxi ride that couldn't end soon enough...
I saw her again on friday and tried to let her down as gently as possibly but she wasn't taking it and gradually lowered her expectations down from boyfriend status to just friends with rights but even this i refused. I don't feel like being a toyboy right now for some Christian mentalist.
"To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead."
miércoles, 31 de enero de 2007
El fin sucio de San Jose
So I passed a fine couple of days in Monteverde but on the first night when I was trying to be sociable no-one wanted to talk to me apart from a couple of Germans. The next day I walked around all day in the park and was pretty exhausted when I returned to the hostel in Santa Elena, so I didn't really feel like socialising and retired early to my room with a kick-ass book called Bangkok 8.
The next day people were queing up to chat and be friendly but sadly by that time I had drifted into a melancholy mood and grumpily distanced myself from everybody around before waiting for the midday bus back to San Jose. What a sour puss.
Well back in San Jose I continued with some marking, went to the gym, played football (we battled through a hard fought draw with the Ticos thanks to a dogged performance from our new Spanish Puyol, Antonio) and generally hung out with Toby and Eric in Parque La Sabana.
That evening however I felt like going out and drinking away my cloudy emotional state with some cats in town, perhaps at Vertigo, but when I tried to call Dave, who had told me of some entertainment earlier in the day, I only got some angry Ticos, who clearly didn't like to be hassled by poorly spoken Spanish! Que strange.
Disappointed but not bowing to the pressures of a shrinking wallet I proceeded to Eric and Ben's pad with Toby in tow for some drinking and poker that somehow turned into a jaunt across town up to a small "night-club" in San Pedro. The entrance was 5g with a couple of free drinks and we got seats dead in front of the tiny stage but somehow all that naked flesh failed to turn me on and I was left cold by the experience, completely unlike my days in Jalapa when I'd so enjoyed what was a very strong (and more erotic) social experience. To be perfectly honest the strippers looked bored for the most part and although there were some amusing moments it wasn't long before the three of us had jumped in a cab speeding (crazy taxi drivers) towards Vertigo.
Toby couldn't contain his excitement at finally finding a place that played some quality electronica, bouncing around the inside of the taxi with a Cheshire cat smile stretched like a taught tarpaulin across his chiselled Germanic mug. I simply wanted to lose myself in the music for the remainder of the evening and managed to do so for a good 4 or 5 hours of non-stop dancing, dancing, dancing.
I have no doubt that I looked like an absolute muppet to all and sundry, those upmarket Ticos who stand arrogantly looking down their noses at the manic freaks sweating away under the dim lighting and the smug presence of the DJ.
A mixed evening to be sure.
Next I'll tell you about a lady who sees Daemons!
"A wretched soul, bruised with adversity,
We bid be quiet when we hear it cry;
But were we burdened with like weight of pain,
As much or more we should ourselves complain."
The next day people were queing up to chat and be friendly but sadly by that time I had drifted into a melancholy mood and grumpily distanced myself from everybody around before waiting for the midday bus back to San Jose. What a sour puss.
Well back in San Jose I continued with some marking, went to the gym, played football (we battled through a hard fought draw with the Ticos thanks to a dogged performance from our new Spanish Puyol, Antonio) and generally hung out with Toby and Eric in Parque La Sabana.
That evening however I felt like going out and drinking away my cloudy emotional state with some cats in town, perhaps at Vertigo, but when I tried to call Dave, who had told me of some entertainment earlier in the day, I only got some angry Ticos, who clearly didn't like to be hassled by poorly spoken Spanish! Que strange.
Disappointed but not bowing to the pressures of a shrinking wallet I proceeded to Eric and Ben's pad with Toby in tow for some drinking and poker that somehow turned into a jaunt across town up to a small "night-club" in San Pedro. The entrance was 5g with a couple of free drinks and we got seats dead in front of the tiny stage but somehow all that naked flesh failed to turn me on and I was left cold by the experience, completely unlike my days in Jalapa when I'd so enjoyed what was a very strong (and more erotic) social experience. To be perfectly honest the strippers looked bored for the most part and although there were some amusing moments it wasn't long before the three of us had jumped in a cab speeding (crazy taxi drivers) towards Vertigo.
Toby couldn't contain his excitement at finally finding a place that played some quality electronica, bouncing around the inside of the taxi with a Cheshire cat smile stretched like a taught tarpaulin across his chiselled Germanic mug. I simply wanted to lose myself in the music for the remainder of the evening and managed to do so for a good 4 or 5 hours of non-stop dancing, dancing, dancing.
I have no doubt that I looked like an absolute muppet to all and sundry, those upmarket Ticos who stand arrogantly looking down their noses at the manic freaks sweating away under the dim lighting and the smug presence of the DJ.
A mixed evening to be sure.
Next I'll tell you about a lady who sees Daemons!
"A wretched soul, bruised with adversity,
We bid be quiet when we hear it cry;
But were we burdened with like weight of pain,
As much or more we should ourselves complain."
miércoles, 24 de enero de 2007
Monteverde - waking life
I was planning on writing about my interesting bus journey but that was before I had a fried egg and cheese sandwich and attempted to get some much needed rest in the dormroom, which was empty at the time.
I lounged in my vest and pants on the bed thinking about not one thing in particular when the walls fell away from my peripheral vision and I was being lifted out of my bed by a helicopter sound and unceremoniously dumped down in the street. I felt woozy and restless but i couldn't open my eyes even for a minute. I turn over in the dust and push myself to my knees. My hand feels for a strange sensation emanating from my belly and glancing at my upturned palm I see that I've been shot.
There's no chance of controlling the sensations but I need to survive for something, there must be someone around who knows whats happened. Focus! There! In the corner of the square, running in slow motion I spy a street rat. Concentrate Jon, concentrate. I reach down to where my revolver sits by my right butt cheek and draw it out to head height, trying to control my shakes.
Slug, slug. The shots hit the boy in the shoulder and I see him topple head first into a newstand in front of a cafe sending Bradd Pitt streamnig helplessly across the street. I myself fall into the wall next to my left shoulder and my vision starts to swirl uncontrolably. I sink down from a standing position to a half crouch, hands clasped across my reddening belly. Apply pressure. Wait it out, stay conscious....
All blacks out finally and I can hear the hum f the helicopter once again overhead.
Whum whum whum whum whum whum.
"You gave up on life didn't you, you fucking bum!"
I lounged in my vest and pants on the bed thinking about not one thing in particular when the walls fell away from my peripheral vision and I was being lifted out of my bed by a helicopter sound and unceremoniously dumped down in the street. I felt woozy and restless but i couldn't open my eyes even for a minute. I turn over in the dust and push myself to my knees. My hand feels for a strange sensation emanating from my belly and glancing at my upturned palm I see that I've been shot.
There's no chance of controlling the sensations but I need to survive for something, there must be someone around who knows whats happened. Focus! There! In the corner of the square, running in slow motion I spy a street rat. Concentrate Jon, concentrate. I reach down to where my revolver sits by my right butt cheek and draw it out to head height, trying to control my shakes.
Slug, slug. The shots hit the boy in the shoulder and I see him topple head first into a newstand in front of a cafe sending Bradd Pitt streamnig helplessly across the street. I myself fall into the wall next to my left shoulder and my vision starts to swirl uncontrolably. I sink down from a standing position to a half crouch, hands clasped across my reddening belly. Apply pressure. Wait it out, stay conscious....
All blacks out finally and I can hear the hum f the helicopter once again overhead.
Whum whum whum whum whum whum.
"You gave up on life didn't you, you fucking bum!"
martes, 23 de enero de 2007
Festival fun (or how to equalise blood alcohol levels)
So Sally breezed through town last week, gracing us with her presence for three days before flying out to ecuador to continue adventuring around the World - "Only four more months of travelling left!" She moaned. Bah humbug.
We drank, watched films and drank some more in between my classes. On saturday she and Toby came to footy and provided some refreshing chants of "Toon, Toon, Black an White army!" along with other unintelligible rubbish..
"Children of men" was a good film but I was annoyed by the appearance of a large boat at the end.
We trekked off to Palmares on Sunday, me dragging Toby sleepily from the couch as we ran down the street pulling on our socks and shoes and leaping into the awaiting minibus. The festival was great fun and the bands were not reggaeton!!!!!!!! Awesome. We all got very drunk and I'm still feeling muy delicado en mi estomago.
Teaching has gone v.well this week. Lots of classes of students talking like howler monkees! Unable to shut them up I sip at my Hi C and daydream of one day introducing conjugated adjectives into English...
"Thought is the sculptor who can create the person you want to be."
We drank, watched films and drank some more in between my classes. On saturday she and Toby came to footy and provided some refreshing chants of "Toon, Toon, Black an White army!" along with other unintelligible rubbish..
"Children of men" was a good film but I was annoyed by the appearance of a large boat at the end.
We trekked off to Palmares on Sunday, me dragging Toby sleepily from the couch as we ran down the street pulling on our socks and shoes and leaping into the awaiting minibus. The festival was great fun and the bands were not reggaeton!!!!!!!! Awesome. We all got very drunk and I'm still feeling muy delicado en mi estomago.
Teaching has gone v.well this week. Lots of classes of students talking like howler monkees! Unable to shut them up I sip at my Hi C and daydream of one day introducing conjugated adjectives into English...
"Thought is the sculptor who can create the person you want to be."
Toby's story
So Toby's story, as related by him to me in a bar one night last week -
Toby was travelling alone round the south of Costa Rica in one of the national parks and one night went out to a Mexican restaurant. There he noticed three young senoritas sitting at a nearby table and duly asked them if he could join them to which they agreed. They were joined by some gringo hangers on and all departed shortly for a club with Toby having taken a fancy to one of the girls, who was the older sister of another. When they reached the disco however Toby's lady friend abandoned him on the dancefloor for one of the gringos because Toby's foot was in a poor state of health at the time and restricted his dancing.
Slighted by the abandonment Toby decides to dance instead with the younger sibling thereby making the older sister jealous. Upon leaving the bar, each girl partnered with a guy, they proceeded drunkenly to the beach before the gringos left for their hotel, leaving Toby and the three girls standing outside of the restaurant where they also lived.
Toby heard them talking about whether or not to have a threesome with him and believing it to be a test he said "no no, I only want the one of you. I'm not that kind of guy!" To which they replied, in the finest Mighty Boosh accent - "You have passed the test." and they all entered the residence, proceeding to the back room.
Therein the girls began to undress and shower in front of Toby. They then asked him to take a shower in full view of them and were about to commence the deed when the younger sister cried out "No! I want him for myself!"...
The rest is easy to imagine but safe to say Toby was very eager to share said story and I feel it my duty to alleviate his current run of bad Karma by sharing it with the world in a most bastardised fashion. Voila.
" What would you have me do? Give out? Give up? Give in? "
Toby was travelling alone round the south of Costa Rica in one of the national parks and one night went out to a Mexican restaurant. There he noticed three young senoritas sitting at a nearby table and duly asked them if he could join them to which they agreed. They were joined by some gringo hangers on and all departed shortly for a club with Toby having taken a fancy to one of the girls, who was the older sister of another. When they reached the disco however Toby's lady friend abandoned him on the dancefloor for one of the gringos because Toby's foot was in a poor state of health at the time and restricted his dancing.
Slighted by the abandonment Toby decides to dance instead with the younger sibling thereby making the older sister jealous. Upon leaving the bar, each girl partnered with a guy, they proceeded drunkenly to the beach before the gringos left for their hotel, leaving Toby and the three girls standing outside of the restaurant where they also lived.
Toby heard them talking about whether or not to have a threesome with him and believing it to be a test he said "no no, I only want the one of you. I'm not that kind of guy!" To which they replied, in the finest Mighty Boosh accent - "You have passed the test." and they all entered the residence, proceeding to the back room.
Therein the girls began to undress and shower in front of Toby. They then asked him to take a shower in full view of them and were about to commence the deed when the younger sister cried out "No! I want him for myself!"...
The rest is easy to imagine but safe to say Toby was very eager to share said story and I feel it my duty to alleviate his current run of bad Karma by sharing it with the world in a most bastardised fashion. Voila.
" What would you have me do? Give out? Give up? Give in? "
viernes, 19 de enero de 2007
Dildo cafeteria
Sitting in the cafeteria watching Mexican shows about the merits of various "jugetes sexuales" I wondered what kind of daydream I am currently living through.. The staff and students didn't seem in the least bit interested but that only led me to believe that they secretly were noting down the number for discreetly packaged mail orders - never forget that it's almost always the quiet ones.
I've been hauled round various bars recently with everyone that knows me trying to get me a new girlfriend and very drunk in the process. I don't like it. I've never been the kind of person to enjoy the mating rituals of the young and virile and least of all when I'm feeling melancholy and not enjoying the music. Whatever. On the walk home last night I decided I was the biggest social loser on the planet and that I'd be better off living in a box somewhere on a street corner - an apparently acceptable lifestyle choice here in San Jose, but where to get my cheap crack? - or alternatively just sitting in my room all day reading to myself.
Things could be worse. I could be Tobias Keefer. My erstwhile German travelling acquaintance turned up recently expecting a few heady days of partying here in San Jose while awaiting his saturday flight home. Unfortunately on the second day of being here he received word from his parents that his flight had mysteriously been cancelled due to a lack of funds on his credit card. A madcap dash around the airport district only served to tire and infuriate said German with the news that his flight was cancelled and the next available vuelo is february 7th... Fuck. Poor Toby is now sitting around the house all day waiting to check his e-mails for a cancellation or availability and generally not doing much in particular.
So last night I took him out after work to get us both drunk and we ended up in the dreaded Calle Amargura. "Sigh". Toby's penis began to itch and, alcohol fuelled, he missioned it around the bar looking for crumpet with which to share good old fashioned viscreal experiences. Having found two likely chicas we danced and sat at a table with a bottle of rum. Sadly my tolerance of the bar and the girls evaporated quickly and I decided to leave and beat myself up on the way home to precious sleep. Toby wanted to stick around but now wishes he hadn't because on the way home, on the main avenue, with plenty of traffic around, he was robbed at gunpoint while I slumbered noisily in my bed. Poor fella ay?
Oh, he did tell me a funny story though and I'll include that more positive note in my next post.
Movie of the post is "Little Miss Sunshine" a happy dysfunctional America satire of living to be a winner. I enjoyed it and now I carry a porn mag everywhere with which to bribe traffic cops to prevent them finding dead bodies about my person - genius.
He who binds to himself a joy, does the winged life destroy: But he who kisses the joy as it flies, lives in eternity's sun rise.
I've been hauled round various bars recently with everyone that knows me trying to get me a new girlfriend and very drunk in the process. I don't like it. I've never been the kind of person to enjoy the mating rituals of the young and virile and least of all when I'm feeling melancholy and not enjoying the music. Whatever. On the walk home last night I decided I was the biggest social loser on the planet and that I'd be better off living in a box somewhere on a street corner - an apparently acceptable lifestyle choice here in San Jose, but where to get my cheap crack? - or alternatively just sitting in my room all day reading to myself.
Things could be worse. I could be Tobias Keefer. My erstwhile German travelling acquaintance turned up recently expecting a few heady days of partying here in San Jose while awaiting his saturday flight home. Unfortunately on the second day of being here he received word from his parents that his flight had mysteriously been cancelled due to a lack of funds on his credit card. A madcap dash around the airport district only served to tire and infuriate said German with the news that his flight was cancelled and the next available vuelo is february 7th... Fuck. Poor Toby is now sitting around the house all day waiting to check his e-mails for a cancellation or availability and generally not doing much in particular.
So last night I took him out after work to get us both drunk and we ended up in the dreaded Calle Amargura. "Sigh". Toby's penis began to itch and, alcohol fuelled, he missioned it around the bar looking for crumpet with which to share good old fashioned viscreal experiences. Having found two likely chicas we danced and sat at a table with a bottle of rum. Sadly my tolerance of the bar and the girls evaporated quickly and I decided to leave and beat myself up on the way home to precious sleep. Toby wanted to stick around but now wishes he hadn't because on the way home, on the main avenue, with plenty of traffic around, he was robbed at gunpoint while I slumbered noisily in my bed. Poor fella ay?
Oh, he did tell me a funny story though and I'll include that more positive note in my next post.
Movie of the post is "Little Miss Sunshine" a happy dysfunctional America satire of living to be a winner. I enjoyed it and now I carry a porn mag everywhere with which to bribe traffic cops to prevent them finding dead bodies about my person - genius.
He who binds to himself a joy, does the winged life destroy: But he who kisses the joy as it flies, lives in eternity's sun rise.
miércoles, 17 de enero de 2007
“Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.”
I'm reading James Joyce's fearful depictions of biblical school meditations on the fiery pits of Hell and the intensity of our souls suffering therein. It's a riveting depiction of our final punishment but ultimately one that Joyce came to reject as fanciful and merciless of our Lord.
Knowledge is power but making teenagers run around in a circle like headless chickens can give one a sense of omnipotence that is unrivalled in the teaching profession. Screw the test scores, I only ask that my students leave the room with a smile on their faces and a few bruises to boot. One kid actually stood gleefully punching another in triumph when he managed to leave the cursed seat of doom! I had to restrain him with imploring sarcasm - "Big and clever Marco, big and clever."
I won a pound at poker last night but I was happy not to have left penniless for a change. The game dragged on into the madrugada but eventually we all agreed to cash up and exit into the mild morning air for our respective abodes.
Everyone who reads this should pay attention for my next post where I shall entreat to you all the gems of the silver screen that I have discovered - with a little help! - whilst residing in Costa Rica. Some genuine treats!
Adieu!
"You're so wise. You're like a miniature Buddha, covered with hair."
Knowledge is power but making teenagers run around in a circle like headless chickens can give one a sense of omnipotence that is unrivalled in the teaching profession. Screw the test scores, I only ask that my students leave the room with a smile on their faces and a few bruises to boot. One kid actually stood gleefully punching another in triumph when he managed to leave the cursed seat of doom! I had to restrain him with imploring sarcasm - "Big and clever Marco, big and clever."
I won a pound at poker last night but I was happy not to have left penniless for a change. The game dragged on into the madrugada but eventually we all agreed to cash up and exit into the mild morning air for our respective abodes.
Everyone who reads this should pay attention for my next post where I shall entreat to you all the gems of the silver screen that I have discovered - with a little help! - whilst residing in Costa Rica. Some genuine treats!
Adieu!
"You're so wise. You're like a miniature Buddha, covered with hair."
lunes, 15 de enero de 2007
Surrounded by darkness
The lights dim in the computer suite yet it halts not my tap tapping fingers on the rickety centro keys. I'm deep in the midst of a failing presentation to 5 generations of Ticos, presumably students, all thinking of enrolling their rugrats in the English for sprogs program.
It provides a surreal point in which to type this blog entry at least.. "Find the 5... FANTASTIC!"
Today I was lazy and despondent, laying around the house doing little and thinking little. I haven't managed to muster any enthusiasm for anything much this year but I did go for a spluttering run today around the neighbourhood and I am looking into going to some kind of martial arts academy and maybe the gym when I feel more positive.
I went out to the Calle Amargura on saturday night with Kevin, Roberto and some other folk but I was looking dishevelled and unshaven and I really hate fucking reggaeton which led to a dull, uneventful night. I'll find some other routes out into San Jose soon but for the meantime my social calendar remains tuesday poker, thursday pool and saturday football. Thrilling stuff I'm sure you'll agree. Give me a week or so and I'll snap out of this foolish melancholy...
It provides a surreal point in which to type this blog entry at least.. "Find the 5... FANTASTIC!"
Today I was lazy and despondent, laying around the house doing little and thinking little. I haven't managed to muster any enthusiasm for anything much this year but I did go for a spluttering run today around the neighbourhood and I am looking into going to some kind of martial arts academy and maybe the gym when I feel more positive.
I went out to the Calle Amargura on saturday night with Kevin, Roberto and some other folk but I was looking dishevelled and unshaven and I really hate fucking reggaeton which led to a dull, uneventful night. I'll find some other routes out into San Jose soon but for the meantime my social calendar remains tuesday poker, thursday pool and saturday football. Thrilling stuff I'm sure you'll agree. Give me a week or so and I'll snap out of this foolish melancholy...
sábado, 13 de enero de 2007
A new day dawns
I woke up at 4:51 this morning and my thoughts wandered around for 10 minutes while I waited in bed to return to sleep. Yesterday we crushed the Germans underfoot in the blistering Costa Rican heat thanks to a far superior level of organisation and skill. Oo-rah!
I've decided to take those extra hours I talked about to boost my economic situation to sustainable levels. I know it's going to be a real headache evaluating nearly 60 students but the experience should see me in good stead for future employment and it will give me a lot more teaching practice.
Otherwise I'm bored most of the time but trying to be more sociable than I was previously. Tonight I'm dreading the thought that I might actually attend Palmares the big annual festival here in CR. F%$& Reggaeton music square in the rectum but I can't resist a drunken daytrip in the sunchine! I am weak...
I've decided to take those extra hours I talked about to boost my economic situation to sustainable levels. I know it's going to be a real headache evaluating nearly 60 students but the experience should see me in good stead for future employment and it will give me a lot more teaching practice.
Otherwise I'm bored most of the time but trying to be more sociable than I was previously. Tonight I'm dreading the thought that I might actually attend Palmares the big annual festival here in CR. F%$& Reggaeton music square in the rectum but I can't resist a drunken daytrip in the sunchine! I am weak...
viernes, 12 de enero de 2007
Should I shouldn't I?
I'm sitting at a computer terminal on the fourth floor of the Centro Cultural pondering A- why did I even think of climbing so many stairs so soon after eating? and B- should I accept an offer of three more evenings a week teaching a Speak class for an extra 100,000 colones a month?
I have said to everyone that I want more money and some more hours but this would seriously fill up my timetable and have me working splits four days a week so I'm wary of burning myself out teaching... Decisions don't come easy. I think I'll take it, after all I don't have much of a social life here just yet and I came to teach so teach I bloody well should!
I'm off to beat some Germans at football now. Oo-rah.
I have said to everyone that I want more money and some more hours but this would seriously fill up my timetable and have me working splits four days a week so I'm wary of burning myself out teaching... Decisions don't come easy. I think I'll take it, after all I don't have much of a social life here just yet and I came to teach so teach I bloody well should!
I'm off to beat some Germans at football now. Oo-rah.
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